Are you willing to leave your past behind and start new?

Can you live differently from addiction’s desires? Can you make new?

What lengths will you go to change your ways?

I was filled with grief, depression, addictions, desires. I had no faith left. I was so broken that my body had become almost solid like a robot, stiff like a board.

As I sit and watch the waves rock and move, I realize that I was so beaten down that I had nowhere else to turn but to a higher power. But first I had to be willing to even believe in one.

It would be months before I would even give that a chance before I would accept that it might even be possible. How could there be something greater when there was so much tragedy and hurt going on? How could someone be there all along and yet all these awful things in this world and in my life had happened? And people around me were asking me to start believing in that. I couldn’t wrap my head around it, much less sit and listen at first.

A friend who has now passed on once said, not very nicely I might add, in her not-so-gentle tone, “You’re sitting in a church now.” And I thought to myself, duh, she’s right — and look at me, I didn’t burn too ash.

Maybe he didn’t hate me all along.

Slowly I started to listen a little more. I found out a family member was attending a local church and at first went for all the wrong reasons, but I would soon find out my higher power knew all along what he had in store for me.

I tried to run out of that church after a group, but two very amazing people saw through me and were quietly waiting, reaching out to help.

My life changed after that day. I soon found what they call a spiritual experience and found the willingness to change my entire life around, because I realized all along, I had the resilience to keep getting up and keep going no matter what.

Life kept knocking me down like a rolling wave, but I found my way back to my feet because Recovery is worth it.

You Matter and Tomorrow needs you!

Thanks for letting me share,

Tammy